Heading to the doctor for your premarital exam may not be as fun as trying on wedding dresses, but it’s just as essential as finding your fabulous frock. So before you say, “O. B. G. Y. No. Way.” here are 12 things you need to know about your premarital exam.
1. WHY, OH WHY?
What was that? Why do you need a premarital exam anyway?
“It really is so important,” says Jana Sund, a certified nurse midwife with Intermountain Healthcare’s New Beginnings Certified Nurse Midwife Clinic. “We offer so much education about the wedding night and about birth control. We help girls prepare for sex in both a physical and emotional way.”
2. SCARY, SCHMARY
So you know those horror stories you’ve heard? Toss them away like a bridal bouquet.
“One of the biggest misconceptions about premarital exams is they’re horribly painful,” Jana says. “And most of our brides leave saying, ‘Oh, it wasn’t that bad at all!’ It’s not usually painful, and it’s not awkward like you think it’s going to be. We really try to make people as comfortable as we can.”
3. SAVE THE DATE
As with most things in life, the sooner you make your appointment, the better.
“If it’s at all possible, we’d really like to see you three months before the wedding,” Jana says. “But if that’s not possible, that’s OK. We’ll take you anytime we can get you.”
4. HERE COMES THE PACKET
Once you make your appointment, it’s time to get prepared for it.
“When our girls schedule their appointment, we send them a packet of information that will help them get ready,” Jana says. “It’s great for them to read up on what we’re going to be discussing.”
5. THEN COMES BABY?
Birth control is an important issue to discuss with both your fiancé and physician. Make sure you and your honey are on the same page, and read up on the various methods available so you can come to your exam prepared with questions.
6. OPTING OUT?
Even if you decide to opt out of birth control, the experts at the New Beginnings Certified Nurse Midwife Clinic say seeing a health professional before entering a long-term sexual relationship is still absolutely necessary.
7. PHYSICAL EDUCATION
Your doctor’s appointment will most likely include a physical (just to make sure everything is in order) — although that won’t necessarily include a pap smear.
“We won’t do a pap smear unless the woman is 21 or if they’ve been sexually active for three years,” Jana says.
8. STAND BY YOUR MAN
Think you have to go it alone? Think again.
“It’s wonderful if they can bring their fiancé to the exam. We spend at least 45 minutes just educating the couple on what’s to come, so it can be extremely helpful to have both partners there,” Jana says. “We’ll have him step out for the exam part of the appointment, but it’s great to have him there for moral support.
9. OUT IN THE OPEN
The sensitive subject matter can have a tendency to be taboo, but a premarital exam can help you feel comfortable and excited for what’s to come.
“We prepare them in ways a lot of girls aren’t prepared at home,” she says. “We’re very open in talking about the wedding night in a comfortable setting, and it’s a really healthy way for brides to start this new phase in their lives.”
10. QUESTIONS?
There’s no such thing as a dumb question. So get asking!
11. LOVE AFTER MARRIAGE
You’re likely to have questions, concerns and queries after you say “I do,” and the nurses at the clinic say their help doesn’t stop with the premarital exam.
“We are here for them every step of the way,” Jana says.
12. THE NEXT STEP
When you’re ready to take that next step and start a family, the certified nurse midwives at Intermountain’s New Beginnings Clinic are equipped to help with prenatal care, hospital deliveries and postpartum needs.
